Bones Book Club
by BrookeKerington29
Summary: Brennan, Angela and Cam discuss some books they have read. Topics include Fifty Shades, Harry Potter, Twilight, Sookie Stackhouse among others. T to be careful. SPOILERS FOR MAJOR BOOKS!
1. Fifty Shades of Grey

**Disclaimer: Don't own Bone nor will I ever. Nor do I own the books mentioned.**

**This idea I had about the girls discussing popular novels. So like a book club but Bones style. Popular books include Twilight, Harry Potter, Classical Lit, Chick Lit and others. This is all dialogue which is a first for me as a proper story. This is all set around 2012-2013 **

**First up is Fifty Shades of Grey. Yeah this one may get a little weird. **

ANGELA: So Bren, did you finish that book I lent you?

BRENNAN_: Fifty Shades of Grey_? I finished it the other night.

CAM: _Fifty Shades of Grey_? Isn't that novel a little risqué?

ANGELA: Well I found it to be more interesting than _An Improper Aristocrat._

CAM: Be that as it may, I found it a little difficult to read.

ANGELA: Got a little hot for it Cam?

CAM: No I'm just not into BDSM or highly erotic situations.

BRENNAN: I'm not so interested in BDSM but I found it highly engaging.

CAM AND ANGELA: Highly engaging?

BRENNAN: As I am a writer, I tend be more observing than an average reader would. The detail was very…

CAM: Explicit?

BRENNAN: I wouldn't say that. It was explicit however I felt like the author was pushing too hard with some of the sex scenes. Some of the lines were a little strange as well.

CAM: I think I recall one about the narrator being a quivering moist mess before he has even touched her.

BRENNAN: I'm like that with Booth.

CAM: TMI Dr Brennan. TMI.

BRENNAN: I don't know what TMI means Cam.

ANGELA: Too much information. Cam didn't want to know about yours and Booth's sex life.

BRENNAN: Don't you feel uncomfortable Ange?"

ANGELA: Brennan, I'm still pressing about that omelette picture.

CAM: So, did you enjoy the book at all?

BRENNAN: Interesting but not one I would visit again anytime soon.

DAISY: _(coming onto the platform)_ What wouldn't you visit again anytime soon Dr Brennan?

BRENNAN: A novel called _Fifty Shades of Grey _Miss Wick.

DAISY: Oh, I love that book. It gives me so many ideas about what Lance and I-

CAM: I need to dissect some organs. _(walks away)_

ANGELA: Yeah and I need to finish that facial reconstruction. _(walks away)_

BRENNAN: I need to do some files Miss Wick, if you can examine the bones that would be very helpful. _(walks away)_

DAISY: Was it something I said?


	2. Breaking Dawn

BRENNAN: I'm going to ask you one question.

ANGELA: Yes sweetie.

BRENNAN: Does this book make any sense to you? _(holds up Breaking Dawn)_

ANGELA: A little, why were you not able to understand?

BRENNAN: No, it seemed to go in fifty different directions. First there was a wedding then a honeymoon, then she was pregnant-no pregnancy gestates that quickly and if he is a vampire and therefore dead for many years, how does he get an erection? I mean this book was very confusing.

CAM: _(walking into Angela's office) _What did you find confusing Dr Brennan?

BRENNAN: The novel _Breaking Dawn_ by Stephanie Meyer.

CAM: Michelle made me read all the novels.

BRENNAN: Breaking Dawn isn't one book?

ANGELA: No Brennan, there are four books in the Twilight Saga. _Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse _and finally, _Breaking Dawn._

BRENNAN: That would explain why it didn't make much sense to me. Do I have to read the others to understand?

CAM: It would help Dr Brennan but I don't think you would enjoy it.

BRENNAN: How so?

ANGELA: Because you'll pick at all the bits that don't agree with because it isn't anthropologically correct.

BRENNAN: Vampires do not exist Angela.

ANGELA: You just complained that they cannot get erections because they are dead.

CAM: Technically they cannot though.

ANGELA: What about the blood they suck from their victims?

CAM: No Angela, the heart needs to pump blood to the penis in order to get an erection.

ANGELA: Brennan what do you think? _(sees Brennan reading a copy of Twilight) _Bren? Brennan? Temperance!

BRENNAN: Sorry. I was reading this. Did you want something?

CAM: Do you think that the blood that vampires suck would help them obtain erections?

BRENNAN: Well, when you are dead, you are dead. You would need the heart to pump the blood.

CAM: If you saw the film version of _Breaking Dawn, _you would see that Edward has to perform chest percussions on Bella so the venom in her blood was spread since she had died in childbirth.

BRENNAN: Maybe once I have finished those three books, I can get a better picture to help me discuss the novels with you further.

bxbxbxbxbxb

_A few weeks later_

ANGELA: So sweetie, what did you think of the books?

BRENNAN: Repugnant, in some parts. I find Bella to be a little irritating.

ANGELA: Ok, but what about the vampire sex thing does it make you wonder still about the erection part.

BRENNAN: I think I'm more bothered about the sparkling skin when vampires are supposed to be sent into a ball of fire upon the exposure of sunlight.

ANGELA: Brennan, you are an author, isn't it up to interpretation to help keep it interesting?

BRENNAN: That is like me writing my book saying that the patella is the same as the phalange. I Readers will know that isn't correct.

ANGELA: Ok, but do you think it was an interesting interpretation?

BRENNAN: I just said I was bothered by it.

ANGELA: Ok.

BRENNAN: What do you think about it?

ANGELA: I thought it was more artistic but there is a point where you have to stop taking liberties.

BRENNAN: Agreed.

ANGELA: You know what we should do?

BRENNAN: What?

ANGELA: Set up a book club.

BRENNAN: Why?

ANGELA: Because it would be fun to see what everyone thinks of the books we read.

BRENNAN: Ok, but I think that Cam maybe the only person who I would be able to disagree without hitting them.

ANGELA: Well that is a change from when you and Cam first met.

BRENNAN: So what is the first book on the agenda?

ANGELA: _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._


	3. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

ANGELA: So, what did we all think? _(holds up Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)_

CAM: I've read this to Michelle when she was younger so I kind of enjoyed reading this again.

BRENNAN: Reliving memories?

CAM: Yes.

BRENNAN: I actually enjoyed this. Maybe when my daughter is older I will read this to her.

ANGELA: Really?

BRENNAN: Yeah, I usually like twists in the plots. The one about the rat was interesting.

CAM: What about the prisoner?

BRENNAN: I found that interesting too. I wasn't expecting him to be Harry's godfather. I actually didn't think that godparents would be allowed in a novel about witchcraft and wizardry considering that it is controversial within Christianity.

ANGELA: I think it is more metaphoric, it basically means legal guardians.

BRENNAN: Like I am to Michael Vincent?

ANGELA: Exactly.

BRENNAN: However I must say that if I was this Draco Malfoy's head teacher I would have expelled him long ago. He shows no respect for any authoritative adult.

CAM: He is to serve as a rival to Harry. You always find a bully in schools. Even fictional and mythical ones. The one thing I am glad about is that J.K Rowling didn't make Hermione out to be a damsel in distress and not overly reliant on her friends who just so happened to be male.

BRENNAN: I actually found her more likeable than Bella in the Twilight books and could relate to her despite being written in third person compared to first person written Bella. Hermione wants to succeed and is an outcast to the other girls in her grade which is what I was like in high school.

ANGELA: The only thing I can relate with Hermione was the unusual name in high school. It is amazing the amount of jokes you could make out of what my name was.

CAM: Can you give us an idea of what jokes?

ANGELA: No way. My father nearly scarred me for life with that stupid name.

BRENNAN: It is common for celebrities to name their children. I think that an actress named her daughter Apple. Why would you name your child after a fruit?

CAM: A flower is fine but something you eat? No. However, back to the novel, do you think that Rowling did a good job in writing characters who didn't appear as they seemed?

BRENNAN: Oh, yeah. But I don't really like how he made Professor Lupin leave at the end because he was a werewolf.

ANGELA: To be fair, Brennan, would you like a teacher who turned into a flesh hungry monster every month teaching your daughter?

BRENNAN: I don't think she'll be going to school at night Ange, plus he seemed to really engage the students and actually knew what he was talking about.

CAM: Though by the look of him he could do with a shopping trip and maybe a seventy two hour lock down just so he could get some rest.

BRENNAN: Maybe Mr Rowling highlighted the leave of Professor Lupin as a way of bringing prejudice into the novel. It deals with real life issues and is quite adult for a children's novel.

CAM: I agree with that. Except Joanne Rowling is a woman.

**Ok, I am planning a sequel to Nothing's Real but Love which is a story I wrote for Wendell and I might have it up the weekend or next Tuesday which when I am on holiday until September.**


	4. My Sister's Keeper

**I had no particular reason for Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban being first. I just wrote a list of books.**

**This one is My Sister's Keeper.**

BRENNAN: I don't know why but I rather like this book.

CAM: Care to explain?

BRENNAN: Well, I thought that it had a very interesting moral dilemma to deal with and it makes you think. Does sacrificing one child for the sake of the other child make you a bad parent?

ANGELA: It kind of does though.

CAM: Well, what if Michael got sick, would you do anything in your power to help him get better?

ANGELA: Of course I would but I wouldn't make another baby just to be spare parts for Michael. Would you?

CAM: There are better methods of trying to cure cancer but Kate's condition is that rare, it is hard to find a permanent cure for it. But even I have to disagree with genetic engineering.

BRENNAN: But the mother never loved Anna any less than Kate.

ANGELA: But she said that she only loved Anna more because she was saving her sister's life. That is a bit cold.

CAM: Agreed. I think the only issue I had with this was that they had too many characters and that allowed a lack of development for some characters such as Jesse who was basically a poster child for teenage deliquesce.

ANGELA: That is what you get when you neglect a child.

BRENNAN: But setting fire to buildings isn't the way to get attention. But I agree there were too many characters to deal with that some were less developed than others, even though I rather liked the father.

CAM: I though the ending was a bit of a rip off. The fact that she won the case but still has to donate her kidney.

BRENNAN: Yeah I thought it would have been more realistic Kate had died. But I think people would disagree. Booth says that miracles happen every day it was just unfortunate that Anna had to die to make that miracle happen.

ANGELA: So the ending sucked then?

CAM: Pretty much. I thought she could have focused on Anna, Sara and Campbell then it might have been a lot better than it was.

**Next up may be either The Handmaids Tale or Wuthering Heights.**


	5. The Handmaid's Tale

**The books I have got planned are: Confessions of a Shopaholic, Wuthering Heights, Tess of the D'Urbervilles, The Lovely Bones, Bridget Jones, Da Vinci Code, A Doll's House and Streetcar Named Desire.**

CAM: So, _The Handmaids Tale._ What did we think?

BRENNAN: I didn't like it.

ANGELA: That was fast. Why?

BRENNAN: It basically rape. Those women are forced to have sex with the 'Commanders' just so they can have a baby and if they don't have a baby, they get sent to a concentration camp of sorts.

CAM: It is all very Nazi Germany. If a woman couldn't get pregnant then she was blamed regardless is the man was sterile. Also like Hitler they reduced the rights of women: they couldn't get a job, have back accounts.

ANGELA: That Serena Joy was very manipulative. I know she wanted a baby but making Offred have sex with the bodyguard by promising her a picture of her daughter was just wrong.

BRENNAN: I like Moira. She wouldn't tolerate it. I wouldn't tolerate that if I had been forced to make a baby for someone else who would make a childminder look after it instead.

CAM: Well, Moira is a metaphor for sexual repression. She is a lesbian but is forced to sleep with men.

ANGELA: Everyone is sexually repressed. The commanders cannot have sex with their wives, no one can have sex with anyone. You cannot even masturbate.

BRENNAN: It is all very….

CAM: Biblical? Actually Old Testament. Gilead is a biblical name.

ANGELA: I could never go through sexual repression.

CAM AND BRENNAN: We know.

ANGELA: I wasn't that bad when I was celibate was I?

CAM: By month four you were looking a little desperate. I'm not sure if Mr Vasari had to pray extra for the amount of innuendos that came out of your mouth after all those sex toys came into the Jeffersonian.

ANGELA: You try it and see how horny you get when you see lubrication and all you can think about is-

CAM: Okay, I got your point. Can we get back to the novel?

BRENNAN: Do you think it is unfair that Offred doesn't have an identity? She only belongs to the commander.

ANGELA: Of course I do not think it is fair. Who wants to belong to someone who basically uses you as a baby machine?

CAM: I wouldn't.

BRENNAN: I feel sorry for the women who are unable to have kids and weren't rich. They just get discarded like they are worthless.

ANGELA: Also the way they gathered for the births were really creepy. I wouldn't want twenty people looking at my hoo-ha while I push a baby's head out.

BRENNAN: I certainly wouldn't.

CAM: Basically life sucks in Gilead.

ANGELA: Pretty much. Thank God we live in a democratic society.

BRENNAN: Yes, I like life the way it is. You can have a baby with whoever you want.


	6. Streetcar Named Desire Movie Discussion

**Bit of a different chapter.**

ANGELA: _(walking into Brennan's office) _Please tell me you have read this? _(Holds up a copy of A Streetcar Named Desire)_

BRENNAN: Sorry Ange, I have been trying to identify the remains for the CIA and then Katy started teething so I haven't had time to sit down and read it.

ANGELA: Oh good because I haven't read it either. Michael has had flu and I have not stopped drawing in days.

BRENNAN: So what are we going to do about the book club?

ANGELA: We'll ask Cam if she had read the book, if not then I rented the movie. It has Vivian Leigh and Marlon Brando.

BRENNAN: As in _Gone With the Wind_ Vivian Leigh? _(taking her mobile phone out)_

ANGELA: That's the one. Also Marlon Brando is very attractive in this film.

BRENNAN: Ok, deal. I've just text Cam and we should have a reply in a moment. _(her phone beeps and Brennan looks at it) _She says she hasn't.

ANGELA: Film it is then.

bxbxbxbxbxb

ANGELA: Well, that was entertaining.

CAM: Were you actually watching the film or were you just looking at Marlon Brando?

ANGELA: I can do both can't I?

BRENNAN: That was a very dark ending. I thought movies in the fifties had to be uplifting after the war.

CAM: That's just Disney. Though I am still wondering what is so positive about about _Old Yeller._

BRENNAN: What happens in _Old Yeller_?

ANGELA: Nothing Brennan.

BRENNAN: So, what did you think?

CAM: I liked it. Though I am finding it hard to be sympathetic towards Blanche.

ANGELA: The woman was raped by her sister's husband, even if she is a slut, child molester, messed up and stuck up hag. No one deserves to be raped.

BRENNAN: What I found really interesting about her speech about her travel to Elysian Fields was actually a metaphor for her life.

CAM: True, the streetcar named desire was about the amount of sex with men she had as well as her husband cheating on her with another man which began the route to madness.

ANGELA: And the streetcar named cemeteries was the metaphor for all the deaths in the family.

BRENNAN: Basically, death and sex brought her to her downfall. However was Stella a complete pushover?

CAM AND ANGELA: Yes!

BRENNAN: Okay there was no need to shout, we have a baby and toddler upstairs.

ANGELA: I'm sorry, but if someone hits you when you are pregnant and you walk back to him after he screams your name, then you are an utter doormat.

CAM: Blanche pushed her over as well.

ANGELA: But you have a sister and sisters push each other over, but Stanley was despicable.

BRENNAN: True, but I had a little bit of sympathy because of the way Blanche looked down at him simply because he is common and didn't have an 'American' name.

CAM: Because Dubois is _really_ American.

ANGELA: I think the French are considered classier than the Polish though. Hence why the Polish are used for cheap labour.

BRENNAN: That is horrible.

CAM: Horrible but sadly true. To be honest, no one in this gets an easy ride. Blanche is an aging whore, Stella is a doormat, Stanley is despicable and Mitch is just as bad.

BRENNAN: Really this is all about gender identity. To be a man you have to be the dominant one in the relationship and to be a woman you have to be submissive.

CAM: No wonder _Twilight _and_ Fifty Shades of Grey _have sent feminism back a hundred years.

ANGELA: Yeah screw them. At least Blanche knew her own mind.

BRENNAN: And not obsessed by tall rich guy that owns his own island.

CAM: Actually, that wasn't true Brennan, she seemed to want a rich guy.

ANGELA: She should have been honest with Mitch from the start. At least then he wouldn't have tried to rape her to prove a point.

CAM AND BRENNAN: Yeah.

_(long pause)_

CAM: Do you want to watch something else?

BRENNAN: No I left Mr Bray, Miss Edwards, Dr Sweets and Miss Wick alone and I'm not sure if one of the couples have not torn each other's clothes off by now.

ANGELA: Money is on Sweets and Daisy.

CAM: I think everyone's money is on Sweets and Daisy.


	7. Shopaholic Ties the Knot

**So I know I haven't updated this as much but I decided to take time with this. Since I am reading the sixth book in the series at the moment, I'm going to get the girls reviewing Shopaholic Ties the Knot and Chick Lit.**

CAM: I hate planning for weddings.

BRENNAN: I'm not surprised, they are expensive and kind of pointless.

ANGELA: But they are fun.

CAM: Really? I just spent two hours arguing with the caterers over halibut.

BRENNAN: What was wrong with the salmon?

CAM: That is what I asked. To be fair at least I didn't have to fake a wedding.

BRENNAN: I gather you read the Shopaholic novel then.

CAM: Yes.

ANGELA: It is a difficult to decide between the backyard wedding at your home and the wedding of your dreams.

BRENNAN: I never dreamed about my wedding.

CAM: You don't even want to get married.

BRENNAN: Well, I hate how some writer's always portray woman as _wedding obsessed_ and _bridezillas._

ANGELA: Wow, honey, you got a term correct.

BRENNAN: There is a documentary on one of the many channels Booth insists on having. I watched it while I was night feeding.

CAM: To be honest, women are stereotyped in this genre of novels.

BRENNAN: What genre of novels is this book?

ANGELA: Chick Literature. Literature that is written for women, and yes, women are rather stereotyped but at least they are not used as sex objects like what Michael Bay seems to think we are.

CAM: I thought you liked _Transformers_.

ANGELA: Its two hours of mind numbing, racist, sexist and bad humoured trash. But my God is it awesome.

BRENNAN: That is such a contradiction. You just listed what was wrong with it and then said it was good.

ANGELA: Brennan, if you watch it, you will understand why I like it despite its major flaws.

CAM: At least Megan Fox – while badly acted – had some depth to her. Unlike Becky Bloomwood.

ANGELA: I thought she did have a depth to her. I mean she could have been completely selfish and went straight for the big wedding that Luke's mother planned. Instead she wanted it to be rather simple wedding in her home town of Oxshott. Which I Googled and it looks nicer than the Plaza Hotel.

BRENNAN: Even though I think that Rebecca is a complete stereotype of a twenty something year old woman, she does have a personality and is really clever. I like her in the book better than in the film, even though I thought she was well acted.

CAM: I don't think I was annoyed with the character as such but I hated how she just kept putting off her decision. Even if her best friend was having a baby.

ANGELA: I would hate to be pregnant at my best friend's wedding.

BRENNAN: Cam, we can reassure you that neither Angela nor I are pregnant.

CAM: Good because we've already got the dresses, and Dr Brennan I wouldn't expect you to get pregnant that quickly.

BRENNAN: I know. Question, is there more books after this one?

ANGELA: I think there are three more and there is another one due to be released soon.

CAM: Why Brennan?

BRENNAN: I thought there would be one about Rebecca and Luke having a baby.

ANGELA: I think that there is one with them having a baby.

BRENNAN: No doubt it will be about Rebecca buying all the baby clothes and furniture. I like it though. Anthropologically, it shows a stereotypical yet quite well developed female character.

CAM: I go with developedish because she keeps forgetting the lessons that she has learned from the previous book.

ANGELA: Well, at least we have other characters to keep the balance. Isn't that what makes a great book or television show?

CAM: Could you imagine a television show with us?


	8. The Lovely Bones

**Okay, as you know I have a list of books, and now I need to add one more: The Hunger Games. This might be the next one I do because I am on chapter seven at the moment and I have twenty chapters left. **

**This one is The Lovely Bones, which is also the name of my Tumblr blog. If you do find it, there is a load of Michael Grant Terry pictures. I am very much in love with him. There is David Boreanez as well.**

_(Cam and Angela are staring at Brennan whilst holding up a copy of The Lovely Bones)_

BRENNAN: What?

ANGELA: This book insinuates that there is an afterlife.

BRENNAN: Many cultures from the Egyptians to the Mayans believe that there is an afterlife. Many religions believe in an afterlife. What is your point Ange?

CAM: You normally disregard that there is such a thing as heaven.

BRENNAN: Correction: I do not believe there is an omnipotent, omniscient god that controls when we are born and when we die. Most pregnancies nowadays are the results of lack of or failed contraception and medical advancements have allowed people to live longer.

ANGELA: So God is irrelevant.

BRENNAN: Pretty much. Besides, in the book, there is no appearance of God. The heaven in the novel is a personal heaven to Susie and the girls that Mr. Harvey has murdered.

ANGELA: Fair enough. The mom… If you had lost your daughter and your husband got beaten up, would you have an affair with the detective that is solving your daughter's murder?

CAM: Probably not. Maybe we should ask Doctor Sweets about this because I would be waiting anxiously to see if my husband is okay, not sleeping with the man who is supposed to be catching your daughter's killer.

BRENNAN: I think I understand that she is distressed, but she abandoned her family while leaving her alcoholic mother in charge of a possibly partially immobilised man, a teenage girl, and a five-year-old child.

CAM: That is a recipe for a disaster. I know that the book is set in the early seventies where you rarely heard of paedophilia and it was in the suburbs where children could ride their bikes in the streets without the worry of being killed.

ANGELA: But if a man came up to you and you know him but you found him a little strange, would you agree to have a coke with him while it is getting dark?

BRENNAN: As Cam said, it was a time of innocence. It was only when murders of young girls in the same area or city that people become concerned and the warnings go out. If you think about the paragraph before the first chapter, the penguin in the snow globe is described as being 'trapped in a perfect world'. That could be a metaphor for the society at the time.

CAM: Mr. Harvey is clever about how he murders the girls. Three were in Delaware, one was in Connecticut, and three, including Susie, were in Pennsylvania. That is quite a long-range across the East coast.

BRENNAN: And they were murdered every few years rather than months. Sporadic murders are not easy from a detective's perspective, especially due to the lack of forensic advancements in the seventies.

ANGELA: I do think the family is slightly more realistic than the family in _My Sister's Keeper_. At least the mother isn't such a control freak and the dad isn't too good to be true.

CAM: I do like this book. It does have the right amount of tension and you can follow it from Susie's perspective easily.

BRENNAN: Despite its main theme, it is an interesting book. Maybe this is my favorite one so far.


	9. Dead Until Dark

**Before we start, I have got a final book list in order, which may change depending on whether I finish this before Christmas. However, I have eliminated two books from my original list and added some more books. Those are: The Hunger Games, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Boy in Striped Pyjamas, Dead Until Dark, and A Christmas Carol (this one may be brought forward as we reach Christmas). I know I said that I would do The Hunger Games for this chapter; however, I have not finished it yet. Most of these books I have read before because either I want to, or I have had to study them. **

**Because it is Halloween, I will do Dead Until Dark, which is the first book in the Southern Vampire Mysteries. **

_(The lab is decorated with Halloween décor consisting of pumpkins, fake bats hanging from the ceiling and a punchbowl with peeled grapes floating on top. Angela is on a ladder hanging up another bat.)_

CAM: Ange, can you hurry up please?

ANGELA: Hold on, I am nearly finished.

BRENNAN: _(with baby Katy on her lap) _Ange, the party doesn't start for a while and Michael is getting irritated because you are not here with him.

_(Angela climbs down the ladder and walks over to the seating area and puts Michael on her lap)_

CAM: Can we get on with this now?

BRENNAN: Yes. For a vampire novel, this is more interesting. The facts that this woman is not a teenager, nor does she really care about men. She does her job and enjoys it.

CAM: Plus she has a secret that only a few people know of, and, even though Bon Temp isn't that large, they are the people she sees on a day-to-day basis.

ANGELA: What was really clever is that they introduced all these supernatural beings, yet the actual killer turned out to be human.

BRENNAN: I love how they all jumped to the conclusion that the new vampire in town did it because most of the victims have bite marks aside from Adele Stackhouse, and they only reason they accuse him of that murder is because of his association with Sookie.

ANGELA: I wonder what synthetic blood tastes like to vampires.

CAM: What?

ANGELA: Well, the reason that the vampires came out of the coffin is because some scientists created this synthetic blood so that the vampire can co-exist with humans with feeling the need for human blood.

BRENNAN: Isn't that like giving a lion a vegetarian substitute for a zebra.

CAM: I remember in the _Twilight_ movie that Edward Cullen said that a vampire living off animal blood is like a human eating tofu. It fills you up but you never are fully sated with the animal blood. I'm guessing that this synthetic blood is like that.

BRENNAN: To be honest, not many books that involve vampires mention the effect vampire blood has on humans. In _Twilight_, it is the venom in the teeth that turns humans into vampire. I think _Dracula _exchanged blood. However, they use vampire blood as both a hallucinogen and an aphrodisiac as well as turning people into vampires.

ANGELA: Okay, this is a first person narrative. Does it live up to all the first person narrative, vampire books?

BRENNAN: Yeah. Sookie is more appealing. The author doesn't try too hard to make her the every woman. Yes, she is awkward, yet she can hold her own. She fought back at the end.

CAM: However, there is the issue of the main female protagonist having so many men interested in her.

ANGELA: The problem with fiction these days, especially young adult novels is that there is always a love triangle. _Twilight _has one_. The Vampire Diaries_ has it. This series has a love web going on.

CAM: Books are slowly becoming like Hollywood. They have run out of ideas so they have to repeat motifs and plots from other books to appeal to an audience. Look at the amount of vampire books that got published after _Twilight _came out.

BRENNAN: Wait wasn't _Fifty Shades of Grey _fan fiction based on _Twilight_?"

CAM: I was wondering why that book seemed familiar. That book has only just proven my point.

**Happy Halloween**


	10. The Hunger Games

**So, now it is time for The Hunger Games. This is fast becoming my new favourite book, previously it was The Lovely Bones.**

_(Angela walks into Brennan's office to find Brennan sitting on the couch reading a paperback copy of The Hunger Games.)_

BRENNAN: Just a second Angela, I'm nearly finished.

ANGELA: How many more pages?

BRENNAN: Three.

ANGELA: Okay, I'll wait.

_(Angela sits in the chair in front of Brennan's desk and waits as Brennan reads and slowly turns the pages of the book.)_

BRENNAN: Okay, I'm done.

ANGELA: Cool. Cam is sick so it is just you and I today. Did you enjoy the book?

BRENNAN: I'd say yes. I mean this is the third young adult, first-person novel we have read, the other two being _Breaking Dawn_ and _The Lovely Bones_. The other first-person novels we read that were for adults were _Fifty Shades of Grey, The Handmaid's Tale, Shopaholic Ties the Knot,_ and _Dead Until Dark_. All of them are from the perspective of a female. _The Hunger Games _isn't really any different.

ANGELA: True, but if you were a teenage girl, who would you relate better to: Katniss or Bella?

BRENNAN: Well, Bella is supposed to be the everyday teenager but she does come across badly, which is fine if it was intentional. Katniss, while her situation is much worse than Bella's, doesn't whine about it. She gets on with it.

ANGELA: So what you are saying is that Bella brings feminism back about fifty years, but Katniss tries to move it forward?

BRENNAN: This isn't really a feminist novel, nor is the main female a feminist. She is put into situations where she is either starving, injured or about a second away from dying and even after she gets through that, she moves on because that is all she can do during the games. It is what anyone, be it a male or female, in the games would – aside from the Carrier Tributes.

ANGELA: So if this was from the perceptive of Peeta, the story wouldn't be any different.

BRENNAN: Yes. Though I think there are a lot of novels that have a first-person female protagonist, books are mainly targeted at females because females are easier to relate to from a teenager's point of view, and many of the authors are female.

ANGELA: It would be interesting to see the Harry Potter books as first-person. Anyway, do you think as a young adult novel it brings anything new? I think this is more satirical of reality shows such as The X Factor where only one can come on top and how we watch this as entertainment, even though it is a little cruel.

BRENNAN: I think so, and the way the tributes have to get sponsors is like the contestants getting votes. That is actually an interesting update to the dystopian novel. I mean _The Handmaid's Tale_ is about what if America was sent back to the Old Testament days, _The Hunger Games _has that kind of futuristic feel, yet you can relate it to the present day.

ANGELA: It is quite clever but it is a difficult subject matter because it is kids killing kids. I mean why don't Capitol take two kids from every district and just kill all of them to send out the warning not to rebel. It would be cheaper and quicker to kill them all.

BRENNAN: The same reason that English guy with the square hair cut has for bringing out another reality show even though he has about two already: it's entertainment for the rich people and torture for those with a brain cell. What did you think of the ending?

ANGELA: I expected Katniss to win. There was no doubt because it couldn't end with her dying abruptly. However, I didn't think Peeta would make it after his leg wound became infectious and he developed septicaemia. I thought he would be the one to die of natural causes.

BRENNAN: True. I'm glad though because the author developed her two main characters rather than the others because well they were going to die so we were going to care less about them. Aside from Rue. I liked Rue.

ANGELA: I get what you mean because while Peeta is a slight wimp, he is physically strong and is actually not dependent on Katniss until he has to be.

BRENNAN: I think we've pretty much summed this up. Do you want to text Cam the next book?


	11. A Christmas Carol

**Christmas special of this chapter, so let's talk about A Christmas Carol. This is going to be a little different. Basically Brennan is stressing over her daughter's first Christmas so she doesn't feel the spirit and is then visited by three ghosts in the night.**

BRENNAN: Angela, are you actually going to talk to Cam and me, or are you going to insist on decorating a tree that is a health and safety risk.

ANGELA: Brennan, its Christmas, and the lab is drab. It could do with some tinsel and sparkle.

BRENNAN: Tinsel is tacky.

CAM: What is up Doctor Brennan? You seem to be a little down.

BRENNAN: I know that I have a daughter and so I should be excited about Christmas, but I just don't feel in the Christmas spirit.

ANGELA: Maybe you are stressing over trying to make your daughter's first Christmas special, even though she won't be able to remember it.

BRENNAN: It could be that.

CAM: Look, the interns, Sweets, Paul and I are going for a Christmas drink after work and maybe you would like to join us. The boys really do get into the Christmas spirit after a couple of beers.

BRENNAN: No, I am tired and I just want to see my daughter and relax with her for the night.

ANGELA: Okay sweetie, I'll call you tomorrow and see if you are okay.

bxbxbxbxbxb

_(Brennan puts her daughter to bed and she walks into hers and Booth's bedroom where she opens the covers and fell asleep. Later in the night Brennan wakes up and stares at the clock, which read 01:00. She rubs her eyes.)_

MAN: _(in a British accent) _Doctor Brennan, I have been told that you are not in the Christmas spirit.

_(Brennan sits up and sees Vincent Nigel-Murray standing at the foot of the bed.)_

BRENNAN: Vincent, what are you doing here?

VINCENT: God has given me a job to do so I can get my wings. Very _It's a Wonderful Life_.

BRENNAN: What job would that be?

VINCENT: I have to show your Christmas past to help you gain Christmas spirit.

BRENNAN: _(getting out of bed)_ My past?

VINCENT: Yes.

BRENNAN: I don't want to see my past.

VINCENT: It is only for an hour. Promise.

_(Brennan takes his hand and she closes her eyes. When she opens them she finds herself in a child's bedroom. The walls are green and in the middle of the room there is a white bed.)_

BRENNAN: This is my bedroom.

VINCENT: This is your bedroom.

BRENNAN: I remember all this. This is when we lived in a small town in Illinois. Before I went into foster care.

_(Brennan looks over at the bed and sees a small figure with nut-brown hair.)_

BRENNAN: That's me.

VINCENT: Guess what day it is?

BRENNAN: Christmas Day.

VINCENT: And guess who is going to wake up?

_(The young Brennan wakes up and runs out of the room. Brennan and Vincent follow her and they come into the living room. The young Brennan has already started opening presents and Brennan recognises her parents and brother.)_

BRENNAN: This was the Christmas that I decided I wanted my brother's toolbox. I thought it was supposed to be a present for me, but actually my dad told me that it was supposed to be for Russ.

VINCENT: You seem happy seeing this Doctor Brennan.

BRENNAN: I am Vincent. Are you showing me this Christmas so I can remember the happy times I had at Christmas?

VINCENT: A little, but I need to remind you about another Christmas.

_(Vincent clicks his fingers and the figures of the young Brennan, Max, Russ and Christine disappear. Brennan watches a now teenaged version of her walk down the stair. The teenage Brennan sits in the armchair and waits for her parents.)_

BRENNAN: This was the worst Christmas of my life.

VINCENT: The point I am trying to make is that you have had worse Christmases. Christmases when you alone and you thought no one loved you.

BRENNAN: I don't want to see anymore.

VINCENT: Okay, I am going to take you to the next spiritual figure to guide you towards the Christmas spirit.

BRENNAN: There are more of you?

VINCENT: I'll explain more when we get there.

_(Vincent takes Brennan's hand and clicks his fingers, which leads them to room where there's food that is almost glowing.)_

BRENNAN: What is this place?

VINCENT: This is the home of my good friend Argus.

_(Brennan looks around the room until she sees a giant sitting in a very large chair.)_

BRENNAN: Hello.

ARGUS: Oh you must be Temperance.

BRENNAN: Yes, I am Doctor Temperance Brennan.

ARGUS: Well, Temperance, Vincent says you are not in the Christmas spirit.

BRENNAN: I am just a little tired and stressed out over making my daughters first Christmas as special as possible.

VINCENT: She's ten-months-old. She won't remember her first Christmas.

BRENNAN: It doesn't mean I cannot make it special.

ARGUS: That is true Vincent. Here Temperance, try this wine.

_(The giant hands Brennan a cup that is about the size of her body and Brennan takes a smaller cup from Vincent and she scoops some of the wine into the cup. She drinks the red liquid.)_

BRENNAN: This is delicious. This has a hint of chocolate in it I believe.

ARGUS: You are right Doctor Brennan.

BRENNAN: So, if Vincent has shown me my past, then I shall assume that you will show me the present or the future.

ARGUS: I am here to show you the present, yes.

BRENNAN: Okay, so where do we go then?

_(Argus holds his enormous hand and Brennan puts her slender hand into Argus' hand. Instantly, she finds herself in Founding Fathers. Across the bar she can see Cam, Paul and her interns. Wendell is snuggled into the corner with his girlfriend Carlie, Fisher is reciting a story in an over exaggerated manner while Clark is looking a little annoyed as he sips his beer. Arastoo is the only one not drinking and Daisy and Sweets are under the mistletoe near the bar.)_

BRENNAN: They look as though they are having fun.

ARGUS: Oh they are. You can see that they are enjoying the season of good will to all men.

BRENNAN: I think Doctor Edison wants to slap Mr. Fisher though.

ARGUS: Cannot say I am surprised.

BRENNAN: I have to say Wendell and Daisy look happy as well.

ARGUS: They are with people they love. As are you.

BRENNAN: I do love Booth.

ARGUS: You love someone else. In a sisterly way.

BRENNAN: Are you going to show me Angela?

_(The pair see the room fade into another and Brennan sees Angela and Hodgins sitting on the couch with Michael in the middle. Angela is pointing to something and Michael is looking up in wonder.)_

BRENNAN: _(smiling)_ I always thought that Angela would make an excellent mother. She has proven me right.

ARGUS: Doctor Brennan, do you think you are a good mother?

BRENNAN: I try my hardest to insure she gets everything she needs to develop her motor, verbal and mental skills.

ARGUS: So is that a yes?

BRENNAN: I suppose.

ARGUS: Are you feeling more confident about making Christmas special for your daughter?

BRENNAN: A little.

_(The scene fades again and Brennan finds herself in her own living room where Booth is one the couch with his and Brennan's daughter, Katy. The little girl is suckling on a bottle.)_

ARGUS: She is cute.

BRENNAN: She is beautiful.

_(Brennan looks up and sees herself walking down the stairs and into the living room)_

BRENNAN: Wait? How can I be here and there?

ARGUS: You are aware that this is a dream?

BRENNAN: What?

bxbxbxbxbxb

_(Brennan wakes up and sees the clock reading 07:00. She sighs and gets out of bed. She walks into the bedroom next to hers and Booth and picks up her baby and gives her a cuddle.)_

BOOTH: Are you okay Bones?

BRENNAN: I am fine. Why?

BOOTH: You didn't seem to get a good night sleep.

BRENNAN: I think I had a lot to think about and I am going to try to make it the best Christmas for our family.

BOOTH: Well, if you think you can then I am glad.

**NEXT: New Years Special. The book: Bridget Jones' Diary.**


	12. Bridget Jones' Diary

**Hello, everybody. It's nearly New Years Day where we make resolutions that we can never keep for more than two weeks. To celebrate this, we are going to look at everyone's favourite Singleton's diary. After this we have four books to cover but this will be when I am able to update this story. These chapters are set in 2013.**

_(Brennan is sitting at her computer desk when Skype starts ringing.)_

ANGELA: Brennan, are you there?

BRENNAN: I am Angela. How are the Maldives?

ANGELA: It's hot, which is why we decided to go instead of staying in D.C.

BRENNAN: Fair enough. How was the flight?

ANGELA: Oh, well Michael decided to lie on top of Hodgins and then spat up on me. I managed to get some reading done on the flight though. It's an eighteen-hour flight.

BRENNAN: You must be exhausted.

ANGELA: No, I slept for about ten hours and I spent the next eight reading.

BRENNAN: What did you read?

ANGELA: _Bridget Jones' Diary._

BRENNAN: I think I have seen the movie. Cam forced me to a movie night last week.

ANGELA: Well the book is different to the movie. Okay it is about someone writing a diary to make improvements in her life by losing weight, cut down on smoking and drinking, and find the perfect man who is not an alcoholic, workaholic, commitment-phobic, people with girlfriends or wives, misogynists, megalomaniacs, chauvinists, emotional fuckwits or freeloaders and prevents.

BRENNAN: I take it that it doesn't work.

ANGELA: Well, the cigarettes and drinking don't really work out in the end – nor does the weight loss – but after one man, who embodies all of those problems, she finds the one with Mark Darcy, who is played by Colin Firth in the movie and featured in an adaptation of Pride and Prejudice.

BRENNAN: That is interesting Angela but can we get back to the book please.

ANGELA: Have you seen Colin Firth?

BRENNAN: Yes he is a very attractive man.

ANGELA: Anyway, Bridget Jones is in her thirties and she decides to write a diary about her experiences to try to improve her life.

BRENNAN: Why would she need a diary?

ANGELA: It's one way of doing a first-person novel. These were originally columns in a British newspaper that were then adapted into a novel. I have read these columns in an archive and they are set out the same way as the novel. At the start of everyday she lists her weight, alcohol units, amount of cigarettes among others. It's called keeping a track of things to see where you have gone wrong.

BRENNAN: Okay, would you personally recommend it?

ANGELA: It is rather funny and the shenanigans are ridiculous but you cannot help but laugh.

BRENNAN: Okay, I will go on Amazon right now and order a copy.

ANGELA: Anyway, what is your New Year Resolution?

BRENNAN: Finding a balance between my family and work. What about you?

ANGELA: I don't know. Maybe not eat as much peanut butter. I spend enough time with my child.

BRENNAN: That sounds like a good plan.

**Next book: The Da Vinci Code. I am so busy this week catching up on schoolwork and revision, so the updating of my other stories may be a little sparse this week.**


	13. The Da Vinci Code

ANGELA: _(Singing) __Your stare was holding, Ripped jeans, skin was showing. Hot night, wind was blowing. Where do you think you're going, baby?_

CAM: Angela, why are you singing _Call Me Maybe?_

ANGELA: The stupid song was on the radio this morning. It's gotten into my head.

BRENNAN: Angela, I think that this book is what you would call bogus. _(Slams The Da Vinci Code onto the autopsy table). _

CAM: _(under her breath) _Thought so.

ANGELA: Why is it bogus?

BRENNAN: It seems to give an impression that there is a god and that Jesus is his son. However, this book seems to humanise Christ by giving him descendants. I don't get it. There is no such thing as a symbologist, there is only iconography.

CAM: Brennan, it's a book. It isn't real.

BRENNAN: The bible is a book that is considered non-fiction yet millions of people think it exists.

ANGELA: People need something to believe in.

BRENNAN: Then believe in scientific truth.

CAM: Even science lacks truth sometimes. Remember the whole MMR incident in England.

BRENNAN: That man was an idiot.

ANGELA: Okay, this isn't the best book in the world but it is an interesting read. Sorry, I didn't want this to turn into a religion verses science debate.

BRENNAN: Oh I agree, this book is interesting but the plot is implausible.

CAM: So a wizarding school, kids killing kids and a vampire romance is plausible?

ANGELA: Okay ladies, put the scalpels away.

CAM: Doctor Brennan, I do not like the plot of the book as much as you do. However, I think we need to remember that this is fiction. The priory exists but I doubt it would be for protecting the descendents of Christ.

ANGELA: I need to work right now.

BRENNAN: So do I.

CAM: Me too.


	14. Wuthering Heights

**Oh God, there is two more that I have planned after this chapter. Let's leave behind Wuthering Heights first. Where is Kate Bush when I need her?**

CAM: Men in the 18th century were dicks.

BRENNAN: Welcome to the pre-Suffragette movement.

CAM: You wonder why Stephanie Meyer based her female characters on these women.

ANGELA: And how E.L. James based her characters on Stephanie Meyer characters.

CAM: Both books are fanfiction basically.

ANGELA: I don't get it, there were no vampires in _Wuthering Heights._

CAM: Have you seen the amount of fanfiction that use a vampire alternative universe? Even worse are high school vampire universes.

BRENNAN: Cam, you need to get off the internet.

CAM: I don't have kids to distract me.

ANGELA: Anyway, Cam is right. The men in this novel are dicks.

BRENNAN: I always thought Heathcliff was the ultimate tragic hero.

CAM: Huh?

BRENNAN: Aristotle, a Greek philosophiser, wrote his ideas of what a tragedy is in a book called _Poetics_. He suggests that the hero of a tragedy must evoke in the audience a sense of fear and that a hero's flaw brings death to himself. Heathcliff's obsession with Catherine Earnshaw brought him to his demise.

ANGELA: I can see it. He obsesses so much over her he becomes tormented and broken.

CAM: I suppose when you see why he was a dick to everyone in the first couple of chapters. His brother tortured him because he was the colour of a Gypsy. He then inflicted that same torture on Hindley and his son.

ANGELA: Though there are a lot of weird love mixes in this novel. I mean, I get that true love conquers everything, but Cathy and Heathcliff were kind of related in a way.

BRENNAN: Not by blood though.

CAM: So what is Hareton and Catherine Linton's excuse? They're cousins.

BRENNAN: I guess it was to re-establish the long-lost equilibrium in the story. If the story were plain sailing then Cathy Earnshaw and Heathcliff would have been together. It was the society at the time that caused them to rip apart. Also, the British royal family seem to marry their cousins around the same time this novel was written.

ANGELA: I guess, but it is still weird.

CAM: Meh, this is what you expect in this kind of literature. Incest and tragic heroes.


	15. To Kill a Mockingbird

**I guess that I am taking a break for a month or so for exams. 12 exam papers in three weeks. Joy. Also if I have missed anything it is because I have not read this book in two years. **

_(It has been a couple of weeks since the last book club meeting, Cam is on holiday and Brennan is trying to finish To Kill a Mockingbird. However, she is about three-quarters through the book. Angela comes in and folds her arms)_

ANGELA: Have you still not finished the book yet?

BRENNAN: I have had a lot of paperwork to complete as well as solving murders and being a parent to my daughter. So no.

ANGELA: Brennan, you need to tell Booth and Cam that you need to have some time to yourself.

BRENNAN: And my publisher. I need to write my next novel by July so it can be published in September.

ANGELA: How long is it going to take for you to read the book?

BRENNAN: I read it back in high school and I remember the book quite well.

ANGELA: Oh.

BRENNAN: I have always liked the idea that this is from the point of view of a child. Not a teenager, like many coming-of-age stories, but a child and a very young child at that.

ANGELA: I suppose. I mean Scout is eight at the end of the book and she talks more sense than Bella does throughout all four Twilight books. Actually, Scout's point of view is of her as an adult reflecting on events she saw as a child. Even in the book, she comments about how she did not understand at the time but now understands now.

BRENNAN: Oh yes, I remember that now. Hmmm.

ANGELA: What?

BRENNAN: I am thinking about getting something from that Southern restaurant.

ANGELA: Hmm, that was nice. Anyway, back to the book. I have always liked that teaching that Atticus says to the kids.

BRENNAN: Which because there are dozens?

ANGELA: The shooting the blue jays. You could relate it to real life in a way.

BRENNAN: I suppose. I believe that bad people deserve to die.

ANGELA: What about people who have just taken something that wasn't theirs?

BRENNAN: I mean people who kill. Doesn't the Bible say, 'An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth'?

ANGELA: It does but how does killing someone solve anything?

BRENNAN: They should have thought about what they were doing.

ANGELA: What if it was an accident or they didn't actually kill the person?

BRENNAN: The justice system is flawed I will admit. However, if you did kill someone or rape someone with intent, then you deserve to die. Personally, I think the electric chair is a better method as they can feel the pain they inflicted on someone else rather than a lethal injection.

ANGELA: I suppose that is fair. I think the book highlights both prejudice in society and in the justice system, even today. Atticus proved that Tom Robinson was innocent and yet because he is black, he is found guilty.

BRENNAN: That and the media blow everything out of proportion.


End file.
